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Review:StellaRose says:
Hello, it's Emmy again :)

Two things confused me the first time I read this chapter.

1) How did they get from the train to the Great Hall? I literally had to stop reading and back track. The easiest way to fix this would be to just add a page divider.

2) Did I miss the part where the sorting hat sang it's song? You went from them talking about the fountain of youth to Ellie overhearing others talk about the hat. Only after that was she suspicious too.

I think if the sorting hat's song is important to the plot line then we, as readers, should hear it. Either that, or have Ellie be curious about it right away. The plot line didn't seem natural when she conveniently overheard others talking about it and was then curious herself. Ellie seems much more intuitive than that.

Now that the nit picking is done I can finally fangirl about this chapter!! I'm loving your Al more and more. Their fight about language was witty and very fun to read.

“Swearing is a sign of a small vocabulary, sunshine.”---favorite Al line hands down.

I also like how you start off all your chapters the same way---very cool!

YES! I cannot wait for Regulus. You know it girl:)

I think that's it. Sorry for writing another novel length review. I can't wait for your next chapter so make sure you request again :)


Author's Response: Hello, again!

1) Time jump! A very badly written one - something that should be worked on to smoothe out a little.

2) I didn't write the Sorting Hat song. It is a little bit important and I know I should have written it but I chickened out because RHYME. If I ever have the time, it is something that I wish to write!

I wanted to show that Albus isn't just a pretty face with an arrogant personality. He can go toe to toe with Ellie. Also that Ellie has a bit of a temper.


Haha, don't worry about the review length - write as much as you feel like to get your point across! I, as a writer, appreciate all the feedback!

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