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Review:APerkins says:
Hi from review tag!

So I figured this chapter needed some loving, so I read through the first chapters to catch myself up to date. I may actually go back and review them, but the first thing I wanted to say was how good I thought this chapter was!
I actually think (after having read through all 6 chapters together like that) your writing has been really really improving over the time you have spent on this story!
Well done!
I like that you can relate to all the emotions Dom is feeling throughout this, and Teddy's frustrations and love and concern and anger on her behalf are all very realistic for what you would expect from someone in that situation.
I love the idea of the story, and the fact that you have been setting it up since chapter 1. I didnt read it before it was edited obviously, so I am not sure what the confusion was about initially with the apparation, but I did miss the clue where she couldnt apparate in the cottage! It didnt occur to me to question it! ( It never does, mind you :P)

I think your dialogue in this chapter is excellent. One of the other things that has noticeably improved in your writing since the first chapter is the sentence structure- and I am sorry I don't really know how to explain that? The sentences sound more natural and flow better.
Actually, perhaps if I point out one of the few examples where the sentence structure in this chapter was not so great (concrit)?
I feel that the sentence where Wilson accedes to giving his testimony is too long and unwieldy for natural dialogue, and so feels a little artificial or rushed. you could probably break it down into two separate pieces of dialogue or something to improve the flow of it?

But perhaps that is one of the few instances in this chapter where that has occurred a sentence too long, too short, or just not quite right somehow. It was something that I noticed a few times in the first chapter, but almost never in this one and whatever it is, I love the newer style of writing .
Overall your plot is excellent, and the dialogue and characters are great!
Well Done!

Author's Response: Hey there! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this chapter of this story! I am so happy you actually read all the previous chapters until here, thank you.

It's a pleasure to hear that you think I've improved over the course of this story. I try hard to improve every day so it means a lot to me, especially since english is not my first language.

I am pleased you could relate to Dom and Teddy's feelings here, and that you found them all realistic. Haha I love setting up the scene since the beginning of a story, I am glad you liked that. It does not matter that you missed the clue, a lot of people did haha.

I am so happy to hear that you think my dialogue is good here. I always struggle with dialogue so you don't know how much it means to me! It's also nice to know that you think my sentence structure has improved =)

Thanks for that little advice. I'll definitely go back and work on Wilson's dialogue in that part again.

I am trying to give my best to this story so your feedback really is very valuable. I am happy you enjoyed the plot, dialogue and characters. Thanks a ton!


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