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Review:blackballet says:
This was an interesting first chapter. I think it was a bit too fast paced for all that went on. The beginning flowed nicely, but Draco and Hermione's interaction was too rushed. I think if you add a bit more description you'll be on your way!

I like Hermione's inner monologue the best. I think her characterization was very good in that section. Your dialogue needs a bit of work mostly, but you definitely have great potential! Keep writing

Author's Response: Hi there!

I totally understand! This was my first fanfic, and therefore my first ever chapter on this site, and I just really wanted to dive into the plot :D That would explain the fast pace-ness. I do intend to go back and edit roughly though, I'm glad you pointed it out!

Ah. Description. My worst nightmare. I'm really working on it though, especially for your challenge!

Yay, I'm glad you liked some of it :P Thanks for reviewing!


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