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Review:Lululuna says:
Hello, dropping by from review tag! :)

This was a really sweet beginning to the story, and I'm curious as to how you'll tie it in with the fairy tale of the Shoemaker and the Elves. Using a House Elf as to play the elf role is very clever, and Mr. Weasley being relatively poor makes him fit the role of the shoemaker well. I wonder if Dobby will help Mr. W in fixing things to sell?

I think you characterized the three main characters quite well. You got Dobby's speech and anxiety just right, and he clearly mirrored the Dobby from the books. At first I was a little confused about what exactly he was doing underfoot - I thought for some reason he might have been still working for Lucius in the story - but maybe if you made it a little clearer that Dobby was just passing by it would clear that up! :) Also, both Lucius and Dobby said that they had just been interacting with the Minister, which suggests they would have fun into each other before. I would have loved to see more of the tense dynamic between the two of them as well, especially how angry Lucius would still be about losing Dobby.

I quite enjoyed Lucius and his maliciousness against poor Arthur as well, he seemed very fitting with canon. It fit very well how he goaded Arthur about losing his job, and mocked him by pretending he didn't know what Arthur's job title was. Also, it fit well with canon how Lucius brought Arthur's children into the insults. I thought Arthur was well characterized as well, with his kindness and goodness, but also his restrained rage at Malfoy. You definitely did him justice! :) The one tiny thing I wasn't sure about was how he said he couldn't feed his family for next week; I know it fits with the fairy tale, but seemed a bit extreme, especially since I feel that Mrs. Weasley grew a lot of her own cooking ingredients and food was one thing they didn't worry about. Maybe he could worry about getting school robes and expensive books for the kids instead? :) Just a thought!

This was a nice introduction to your story and I liked getting the insight into the characters and imagining how you will continue to incorporate the fairy tale story with the canon of GoF. Good job! :)

Author's Response: Hi, Thankyou for such helpful, lovely feedback - I really love reading your reviews! :)
Its funny how you miss the obvious in your own story, isnt it?
Having Dobby stand behind Malfoy does make it seem like they were there together...and that isn't at all clear, and I hadn't noticed that till you pointed it out.

Youve also picked a really gaping plothole I hadn't seen! I completely missed that both Dobby and Malfoy have come straight from the Minister, oops! That is obviously impossible as they are NOT supposed to have run into each other before now.

I was really really happy that you seemed to think I had succeeded in keeping the characters as close to canon as possible. As an author, I tend to project myself onto my characters a little bit, and I think that is what happened when Arthur said he couldnt afford to feed his family... Its the type of hyperbolic exaggeration I would use (but not Arthur) and it does make the situation sound desperate (when it was just a figure of speech that would be normal for me and would not mean I couldn't literally feed my family)
:) I will alter that when I edit this chapter again (which wont be till I work out how to fix the plothole! lol)

Thankyou once again for your review!
-Anthea




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