Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:APerkins says:
Hey, read it, and .. thought it was ok.
Think you did quite well for a one shot, but I would have needed a little more time to get "into it" if you know what I mean.
The first part was setting the scene, and explaining the background - it wasn't really telling a story so much, and so it wasn't till the second half that the story really started. I think that was a shame, because it made the interaction quite short.
the interaction they had and the dialogue was actually really good (although having draco and hermione mutter french at each other was a little odd, as romantic as the language is!)

I think the bit that I would improve would be the setting of the scene. Perhaps rather than paragraph after paragraph of background information, that could be dropped in-between the lines of dialogue or interaction in smaller "chunks" to make it a more seamless part of the actual story, as opposed to just being information we need before we can start the story?

once we got into the story - now that part was really well done, well written and the dialogue was great. Just a little too short! ( Perhaps there was a word limit, which would have made this even harder?)
Overall, considering it was a one shot you did well :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Oh I know what you mean. I wrote this quite a while ago, so I am not sure if I'll come back to edit it, but if I do, I'll try to make more of the interaction.
I am glad you still liked the short interaction and dialogue though, even though you found the French bit odd.

I'll definitely think about your comments when I edit, so thank you.

There was no word limit (as far as I can remember) but I am a person who usually prefers writing short one-shots/chapters.

Thank you.


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 577
Submit Report: