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Review:ChaosWednesday says:
tag!

I've been meaning to come back to this for a while. Glad I got the chance!

This chapter may be a bit filler, yes, but it's for the better. You take your time establishing the tone of the story and giving each character a proper introduction. I'm enjoying that because, well, I'm the worst at remembering characters and I get so *frustrated* trying to tell people apart when the main action has already started. So, trust me, I'm very thankful for the extra time to get my weirdly selective memory up to speed!

You do indeed have many characters. The way I see it, you're trying to set the mood of the time and the generation and you're succeeding very well! The Slytherins may be very different (as opposed to just the sickly green mass of petty evilness they were in the books), but there are certain things that define and unite them. All these teenagers emit a sense of confidence and a sense of mission - it's very seductive! You make it difficult to dislike any one of them (and I had to laught at "Girl Goyle"). On the backdrop of the turbulent environment you've outlined, these characters promise to kick against passive compliance with their parents and their old-fashioned views.

Daphne's party sounds promising! The explanation that Theo and Draco are over-compensating for being excluded from Slughorn's club is a good point and I can't wait to read more of that. Generally, what I enjoy most in this story is how you explain all of the Slytherin's views as some sort of symptoms of entitlement and just basic teenage needs for being provocative and clique-y. This sets the scene for many shattering world views in the future. I can imagine the Slytherins will soon need to formulate their opinions for themselves, and I can't wait to see how much of a tragic trainwreck that will be, and I mean that in the most possibly positive way ever!

Oh, but I have to point this out because I'm a crazy cat lady: cat's don't lick your face! The only scenario I can imagine of a cat doing that is if you have smelly perfume on your face and she wants to wash it of. Or, if you believe the internet, if she wants to kill you or eat your soul. Maybe change "laugh as her rough tongue licks my cheek" to something like "laugh as her wet nose pokes my cheek" or something else, you know? Haha, sorry, but I had to.

Well, I'll try to be back for more soon - I enjoyed this chapter!

p.s. I had to laugh at Tor's mother warning the girls in her letter to not date people too closely related to them. Something tells me this is an everyday sort of inconvenience most pure-blood children must grow up with. I wonder if they are drilled with specific criterea for how to calculate " one relative in common and not too closely related" along side with other basic things like how shoeslaces can be tied and what a Muggle is.

Author's Response: Hello! :) Great to see you here!

I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter and the story so far, and didn't think it was progressing too slowly. I agree, throwing a lot of OCs at a reader at once is tricky, but hopefully you're managing to get a sense of each one. I think it was necessary for me as a writer as well, to get the character traits and histories a little more established.

I love how you find the characters actually likeable so far, and how they contrast the idea of the classic Slytherin. You're right, they are different from their parents, they just need the chance to realize it and grow as individuals.

Haha, yes I imagined Theo and Draco would be secretly very stung about not being invited to Slughorn's parties. Yes, I imagined the Slytherins as being quite immature and typical teenagers in many ways, with the need for respect and friendship, yet also with the possibility of growing and changing their views.

Ha! That's a good point about cats, I'm more of a dog person to be fair. :P I'll definitely re-visit that.

I'm glad you appreciated Tor's mother's warnings. It probably would be an issue for purebloods, since I don't think the pool of selection is that large. They're probably all third cousins or something! It would be an amusing situation, for sure. :)

Thank you for taking the time to leave such a thoughtful review, it was a real pleasure to receive! :D


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