continuing on from my review tag, cause why review once when I can keep going, right?
So I actually struggled through the first chapter. I dont know why, I loved the concept and the characters, but I was struggling to come to terms with the smart-alec, smart-mouth sassy attitude of Ellie (Yes I did jsut say sassy in a completely non-ironic way.) I was vaguely aware of it at the time, although I couldn't quite put my finger on it, because your writing is excellent.
but going through the second chapter I hacve foudn it a lot easier. I think Ellies voice is just a little like any accent. you listen to it long enough and you stop hearing the accent.
And its really funny!
I think her wittiness is what makes this story so entertaining.
I love what you are doing with RAB. Yes, he is an arrogant pog, but thats ok, there is still something charming about him.
I love the passing references to Ellies family - getting a real picture of eccentric father and lost mother early on. I like it, and its creating a good atmosphere.
Overall, really well done.
I feel a little like Ellies references to the past may be a little artificial. Not many teenagers would compare how they went at school with how their Aunt went. Personally, when I was a teenager, if my parents had told me my aunt was the brightest her age, I probably would have rolled my eyes at the endless and irrelevant reminiscing about the good old days.
I gather Ellie is a slightly different person though - she does see dead people and so probably the past is more important to her, but we haven't seen that yet, and her reflections on Hermione, and Sirius and even Harry falling for Ginny just seem more aimed at the reader than genuine reflections from your typical teenager.
Im actually really starting to love the story, so Im looking forward to the next chapter, keep it up!
Author's Response: OMG that was quick!
Even for me, Ellie is an acquired taste. There's something about her that's a bit... strange, I think, so I completely understand where you're coming from!
Regulus is a blast and her family is interesting in the way that all families are interesting if we ever gave them the time, I think.
Now that you've pointed out the references, I understand where you're coming from. My reason for including them is partly because that's the way Ellie sees the world, and partly so the reader feels connected to canon, I think. I'll keep that in mind, though!
Thanks once again!