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Review:APerkins says:
Hi here for review Tag!

I think the conversation and witty dialogue you have are great. I love story just has that oddball humour in it, it makes me laugh out loud.
The idea of having 2 classes of ghosts -ones everyone can see and ones only certain people can see - caught my attention. I will be interested to see how that is explained!
I do like the characters you have created, the personality of your main character is already shining through, and her twin, the muso seems all kinds of cool.
am intrigued to see where you go with Albus too, so that will be great.
This may be a cultural thing, but in my country, cartons dont have lids, they fold in at the top, so in that little paragraph I was cringing going "No!" but I got the idea that was supposed to be conveyed regardless, and can totally relate to it!

You had one excellent paragraph devoted to describing the music room, and another describing the grass your character lay on as a 5 year old, and I think that you need to make sure you keep enough description up so that we can actually picture where your character is. Those two occasions, you did it well, but I feel like there are other instances where you focus on the dialogue and the action and perhaps leave out the creation of the scene.

It probably isnt a big deal because you hold enough interest in the actual story line that as a reader we dont really notice! It is easy to get sucked into this and want to know what happens next!

Author's Response: Hello!

I'm glad the humour is coming through. I find humour more difficult to write than drama, so that means a lot.

The idea of a "ghost" ghost world was just too good to pass up, to be honest!

Where I'm from, cardboard cartons usually don't have lids, except when they do, and often we call the plastic bottles cartons as well if they're big or whatever. Sorry for the confusion!

Yeah, description is something that I really need to improve in, so your feedback on that is much appreciated!

Thanks for dropping in!

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