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Review:academica says:
Hello, here with your requested review!

Okay, here's my interpretation of your story--tell me if I'm anywhere close to the mark. It seems like Pansy's idea of "badness" is really control. She wants to not only exist in her privileged world but win for herself a dominant place in it. She tries to buck the rules where she can while also holding tight to the things she thinks she needs--status, wealth, power, admiration, to be feared. And she seems cognizant of the notion that she might lose it all if she enjoys her role a little too much. I saw this piece as walking through Pansy's life and the way her role changed at different points. Now that she's growing up, she realizes that she has to give Draco what he wants in order to preserve her place, and she fights her war in a quieter way.

Personally, I liked the ending. It shows Pansy as a character with her own sense of strength, however self-serving and twisted that strength may be. She's adaptable, which seems essential for a Slytherin. It seems a bit odd for them to behave in that way in the middle of the open common room, despite it being empty at the moment, but I suppose it's all part of the joint boldness of the two characters. I liked the final line, too, because it suggested that Pansy's "badness" is like a slow burn that doesn't fade the first time it's threatened. She fights the war on her own terms.

I can't speak to how this story looked prior to your rearrangements, of course, but I can see how it would work in a less traditional style. Maybe the straightforward chronology helps ensure that it makes sense, but again, it's hard for me to say.

I couldn't identify any critical problems with flow or technical aspects while I was reading this, so that's good. I think you just have some readers who don't grasp more abstract endings--I've certainly experienced that for myself. I think it works well, and if you like it, I say stick with it as is :)

Nice work. Hope this review is helpful!


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