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Review:ChaosWednesday says:
review swap!

Well, I just couldn't resist, so I read the third chapter too!

In case you haven't noticed, I'm thoroughly enjoying this story contrary to all my reservations against fluffy next gen.

I think what has me most is the narrative voice. Ellie (that's her name right? with first person narrations I tend to forget...) is fun and cynical. I think what she does best is reminise about her childhood. No one can make encounters with old lady ghosts and poison ivy sound quite as charming!

I must say, I would like to see more awkward Ellie (really hope that's her name or else this review will get awkward). She is quite the observant and clever one - I can imagine her heading a group of disillusioned geeks and misfits. Anyone who is slightly awkward would gravitate towards someone like her, right? Speaking of which, I'm proud that she has caught Ben into her little web. He is sort of shrouded in fog for me as of now, but I'm sure you'll develope him more soon!

I'm enjoying the hints of what is to come that you've been throwing in here and there - the premonition and the hat's song are similar enough to set a pattern and yet vague enough to get the reader's imagination running wild. I like things that do that to my imagination.

I'm sure you know that this story is kind of awesome, so I'll take the libery of offering a small bit of CC if you don't mind. This might just be me, but all the "teenage males" in this story are kind of the same? They are all smug, hot and annoying. I know that this isn't too far from reality (had to deal with that phenomenon myself not too long ago. Well, college guys aren't all the different, now that I think about it), but I'd really like to see some difference in character. Smugness and hotness and annoyingness come in all sorts of lovely variations, after all :D

thanks for the swap! oh, and update soon because I'll be back!

Author's Response: *grins uncontrollably* I'm super glad that you're enjoying yourself! For me, it means a lot that you like this story, as this isn't something that you'd usually read.

I want to write more awkward Ellie (haha, yes, that's her name, and I know what you mean)! I wrote a bit with that scene with Ginny, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. And yeah, she is the type to collect the geeks and misfits! It is actually amazing that she caught someone like Ben!

The plot is revealed a little more in the next chapter (hopefully), and thank you for the CC. I was worried that might be the case, so I'll be extra careful to differentiate them as the story goes on. They are different, but I guess there just isn't enough of them on the page to see that yet!

PS: You're story was awesome, btw - I gushed a little (by which I mean a lot).


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