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Review:MC_HK says:
Oh goodness! This chapter is quite action packed, isn't it? I really like it! I think that the personality you've given to Dom has shined through very well, and the flow is perfect. Your descriptive qualities are wonderful, and you've got great sentence length and structure. Only a couple pieces of CC though:

"Sighed, she closed her eyes once again..." The beginning part to this seems a little unfinished, and kind of disrupts the flow of the story.

"She just knew how terribly everything could fall apart if she got bitten tonight." I think that this particular sentence could be reworded, or even taking out the 'just' would make it flow better to me.

I also think that using less of the word "she" and putting in Dom's name more would make the word less repetitive.

Overall, I love this I look forward to reading more! MC_HK

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you for reading and reviewing.

It is quite action packed eh? Though I am afraid the rest of the story is not like this - hope that doesn't deter you from liking it. I am pleased you liked Dom, the flow, and descriptions. English is not my first language so it's a relief to know that the sentence length and structure is okay.

Thanks for pointing out those errors and giving me CC. I'll definitely work on them asap!

Going to re-request when a slot is open =)


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