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Review:UnluckyStar57 says:
Hi! I'm here with the review you requested a little while ago. :)

So, this seems like a very interesting story. I've never read a story where Harry has a sibling, much less, a twin! It will be very intriguing to watch things pan out in Jasmine's life, especially since she's going to live under an alias far from her brother.

I did notice a lot of run-ons and a few grammar slips, but I saw that you're planning on getting a beta, so I won't try to point them out to you superfluously.

I really think that this chapter could have a bit more description in it. What are some of the emotions rushing through Sirius' head? How does the way he feels affect the way he acts? What do the surroundings look like?

Also, why does Sirius have to run away with Arabella Figg? Is it because she's a Squib that happens to be in the neighborhood? Will she behave as a grandmother figure to Jasmine? I'm very interested to see what her role in the story will be!

Good start to the story! :)

May your pen never run out of ink!


Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review. I have gone back and noticed I rushed the chapter instead of letting it flow naturally so I will be going back and adding more details. All I can say about Arabella is she won't be how she's perceived in the book. Thanks again for the review.

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