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Review:APerkins says:
Ok. I wanna make a few notes on this chapter. The "memory" part was awesome, seamless, loved it.

the side reference to snape!!! You did it so well! Jsut sitting there, not quite a part of anyone, but brains enough to know they needed to shut up and irritable about it, and yet still casting muffliato.

It's snape, down to the ground. You've done that awesomely.

I think describing the action through their dialogue is an awesome way to do it, but I did get a little lost. They said imperiused a huffle puff girl who kept running into bookshelves. and she jsut ran away afterwards? I found that section a little too quick for me to grasp what had happened there wihtout re reading a few times.

and the girls came away horrified by the cruciatus curse, which the boys had not used just joked about using, so i had to go back and re read again to make sure I hadn't missed something.

after I had re-read it, I kind of like the banality of jsut making someone smash their head against a bookshelf, or whatever - it seems so pointless and dark, and I really think thats exactly what that crowd would have been like, malicious out of boredom, bullies with no cause.
You portrayed that part of them really well
thankyou!

Author's Response: Ooh, thanks! Snape is a tricky one to write, because I think his personality can be overdone, so I'm so glad you think I got the right balance there. And the behavior of the other Slytherins - your thoughts on that are wonderful to hear, because it's exactly what I was going for. :)

I'm sorry that section in the library was confusing. I think because it was all happening quickly, the narration is kind of messy, but I'll look at it again and see if I can clear it up.

Thanks so much!


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