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Review:marauderfan says:
Hi Maggie! Here with your review that you requested about 47 years ago, sorry it took me so long! Real life got in the way!

So it was a boggart at the end of the last chapter - somehow I didn't pick up on that before, haha. I'm really curious what Helga's boggart will be, so I'm excited for the next chapter. And for more Helga/Salazar interaction because I love them!

I really love the characterisation. The scene with Helga and Salazar at the beginning of the chapter is perfect - Salazar trying to act all tough and dignified despite that he just saw his worst fear (interesting, by the way. I'm assuming the fire has something to do with why he hates Muggles - given the time period possibly he lost people in a witch burning?), and Helga is concerned for him, asking multiple times if he's all right. It was perfect for how you've written the characters in the story so far, and for the traits of the Hogwarts houses too.

I also liked Helga's interaction with Rowena. Especially when they were mocking Salazar and Godric's desire for fame :D I like your Rowena. She's a woman of few words, and very studiously invested in the library - but she has a sense of humour as well.

I feel badly for Elaine! But I guess it says something for Salazar that he's still friends with Godric, despite his misgivings about Godric's wife. I'd say that I hope Salazar grows to accept her, but I have the distinct feeling that's not going to happen :P

You asked about expanding the descriptions, so here's my thoughts. Personally, I think little details do so much to complete a description, like the way you've written Godric walking with his son out on the grounds as Helga watches from the window - that was perfect.

In other places though, there's a lot of dialogue so I think you could intersperse some description in there. For example I'd love to know exactly what Ravenclaw's tower chamber looks like. What colour is the stone of the walls? Is this the same room that becomes the Ravenclaw common room later? If so, you could add something about the ceiling, because I know that was mentioned in the books as being really pretty. And then in the next section, in the discussion between Helga and Elaine - to help the reader visualise the scene, what is Helga cooking in the kitchen? To fit the description into the dialogue without interrupting the flow, you can just add it to the end of someone's speaking lines, such as: "example," I said as I kneaded the bread dough/ stirred the soup/ whatever.

Anyway, that's just an idea (and hopefully my bad example sentence didn't just make you confused, haha - I know it is quite open ended) Hope that helps!

This was a great chapter! I'm really enjoying this story. :)

Author's Response: Hi Kristin! I'm sorry it took me so long to respond to your review, but it definitely made my day! And don't worry about taking a while; I am the QUEEN of slow reviewing. So it's all good :)

I'm so happy you're enjoying the characters! I like that first scene with Helga and Salazar the best in this chapter, but then again I always love writing them together :) Salazar's issue with fire will be uncovered later on, so stay tuned!

Oh Rowena :). I never expected that I would end up liking her as much as I did. But every time I write her she grows on me. I think your description of her is spot on. She's quiet, but that just gives her words more authority. And her witty side is fun when it comes out :)

Yea, Elaine is in a tough spot. But she's also tough herself. And you're right, Salazar is willing to look past "imperfections" in people sometimes (but then sometimes he really isn't. It's definitely hit-or-miss with him.)

Thank you for the suggestions! I really do want to go back and edit this chapter in particular, because I wrote it so long ago and I feel like I neglected description. Rowena's chamber deserves more of a look than I really give I, and I agree with you about the description/dialogue balance at the end. I love all the helpful tips that you mentioned, and I will eventually go back and intersperse them with the dialogue :)

Thanks for another wonderful review! I really appreciate all your time and feedback :D

--Maggie


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