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Review:Elphaba and Boyfriends says:
Hello, Elphaba here! :)

I really like how you showcase the doubts that Lily expresses about their magic, and the way that Severus attempts to reassure her. Their interactions flesh out the bare bones of their story from The Prince's Tale, and also shows Snape's nicer side (even if he does mention making Petunia cry). :)

One very little thing: "Cherry Blossom trees" should just be "cherry trees." You nicely show that the trees are covered in blossoms by saying that they've bloomed and by describing the colors.

You say that you didn't enjoy writing this chapter, and that some of your ideas didn't make it on to the page. The one thing I feel is missing is a direct tie-in to the prologue. Since I imagine that Harry is reading this chapter within the pages of Snape's diary, I would like to see it formatted as diary entries with dates at the beginning of each interlude. I would also like to see it written from Severus's first person perspective, just as he would have written it.

At the end of the chapter, I would like to see Harry's immediate reaction to these diary entries. It wouldn't have to be extensive, just a little teaser to carry readers through to chapter 3.

Despite missing these elements, I really enjoyed reading about Snape's (doomed) dreams for their future. I'm moving on to chapter 3 right away to see what will happen next! :)

Author's Response: Hi Elphaba! :)

Haha, yeah. 'The Prince's Tale' helped me make it more Canon compliant (because I'm a canon-freak). I also thought that it gave me some great ideas to carry forward their story! And yes, I also wanted to show other the shades of Snape's character. However, there had to be some tendency towards evil in him. It wouldn't have sprung up suddenly :P

Thank you :) I was not aware that just Cherry Trees would also do, because it's called by different names i different places. Bit of a confusion there!

I had decided not to make it very diary entry like on purpose. For a few reasons. One of them was that I didn't want to limit this to a short diary entry about each episode. Also, I am skipping many entries, obviously. I thought the freedom was more like this. I do like the diary entry style, but I thought this would be better. maybe I'll change it when I find the time! Thanks :)

Thank you for the lovely review! I'm glad you decided to read on :)


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