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Review:academica says:
Hello, stopping by from Review Tag!

This was a good opening chapter. Lots of intrigue and mystery, and I liked how you explained why we've never heard of Jasmine Potter. Nice of you to save her and Sirius in one fell swoop :) As you may be aware, Harry having a twin is sort of a cliche, so I'd definitely encourage you to do what you can to make this story your own as you develop it more. My theory about them being alive is that Harry destroyed Voldemort before Jasmine was put in harm's way (i.e., Jasmine doesn't have particular powers of her own, just a great brother). Oh, and I liked your details, like Harry calling Sirius 'Padfoo.' That was just way too adorable!

I noticed several places with missing words or typos, so you may want to consider getting a beta to look over this. (You might already be in that process, actually, since I think I saw you post in the beta subforum.) I also noticed a lot of long, rambly sentences that need to be broken up, like this one: Sirius Black rushed into the destroyed Potter house tears filling his eyes as he found his best friend and brother in everything but blood James Potter lying on the stairs.

Good start!


Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review. I'm glad that you like it so far and I'm hoping the way I have this planned won't be as cliche. I couldn't let Sirius die or go to jail I just love him to much. I am currently in the process of getting a beta hopefully I get one soon as I know my writing desperately needs again. Thanks again for the review!

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