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Review:Mnemosyne_Morrigan says:
I'm here with your requested review.

I'm starting to realise there are more Peter's stories than I though. It's good that each of them is different. Yours also has a specific plot line and flow of emotions. But, unfortunately, the lack of stronger emotions. You managed to keep the atmosphere dark, but you had little trouble with heavy emotional level. At least I felt like it's too calm and too light, I would expect more bitterness, more anger and fear. The background was well described, it had this sense of death and darkness, but the thrill wasn't that powerful.

The pace of action was good, not too languid and not tattered. You're not forcing or rushing anything. Some of scenes are really good, dynamic and detailed, seem almost like a movie scenes. Shop scene and morning at the Potter's are my favourite.

You did a good job portraying Peter, but I must admit that Voldemort is almost perfectly sculpted. Not overdrawn and not plain. The perfect balance of evil and charm, with a pinch of sour pity.

Great taste of little details! Like cats making him feel uneasy - a parallel for future problems with Crookshanks. Also I do like the ascpect of mentioning Peter's loss of job. It was always like a hole in the plot - where they were working?! They didn't get paid by The Order of Phoenix, and we know Lily and James had lot's of galleons (not all of them inherited from James' parents). So what were they doing? ;)

Overall, really good story

- Mnemosyne

Author's Response: Thanks for your review!

I'm sorry it wasn't a very powerful story.. I was trying to write Peter as sort of a combination between numb and afraid, and it looks like it didn't work as well as I hoped! :/ When I go back to edit this I'll see what I can do.

I'm so glad you liked the characterisation of Voldemort though! And it means a lot to me that you thought the detail was good. I really enjoy details and so I'm glad I didn't go overboard on them or anything ;)

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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