Hello Jenna! I think it's about time that I read and review something of yours since you've been kind enough to follow "The Seams."
Okay, so I read your response to my question about being a Slytherin in which you discussed Tor and that got me really intrigued, so I decided to review this lovely gem!
I like that you've slightly mirrored the scene from DH. It gives readers a sense of familiarity while also setting the stage for what you're doing. That you've also used characters that we know helps concrete the story. Your description is definitely good. I like that it's not overly metaphorical and that it's not purple prose, but it's not necessarily sparse. You give us enough description to let us see everything in our mind's eye, but also allowing readers to use their imaginations - I think this is such an important part of any book or story. If someone gives me all the details, why use my imagination? Using one's imagination is the entire point of reading: exploration! I digress. So obviously, I like your description.
I also really enjoy your characterization. I think at, often times, we don't get the entire picture of what it was like to be involved or near the Death Eaters. Not only have you given us a glimpse of their malicious natures through Tor's eyes, but also their love and gentle side. Even though the gentle side only extends as far as other purebloods, it is still love. I think it's great to show that most of the Death Eaters (sans Voldemort) were capable of love at some point. It makes them relateable, or at the very least, pitiable.
And this dynamic you've brought into play with Tor and this male character, who I assume is a Muggle born and one Tor knows intimately, is excellent. You're already starting to show both the internal and external conflict involving racism between Muggles and purebloods. This first chapter is commendable if only for the fact that you've already put so much into play and in so few words, without giving away too much or boring us to death. I like it. A lot.
Overall, I'm really intrigued and cannot wait to keep reading more! ♥
Author's Response: Hello dear! :) Great to see you checking out this story, and I'm so glad you enjoyed the prologue!
It's great to hear you were intrigued about Tor, I really love writing her. She's a lot of fun, with her angstyness and her crazy capers, but also how she shows that not all Slytherins are that bad.
I'm glad you liked this prologue, even if it was quite short and sweet. The whole novel in a way is building up to this one moment, and the image of a girl looking down at the boy she loves being tortured by her father's companions and not knowing what to do is what inspired the whole idea for this novel. It's actually a lot less detailed and metaphor-ridden than most of my writing, but I think this fit the mood and Tor's voice, so I'm glad you liked it! :)
Yes, I imagined the DE having some gentler and kinder sides, especially when it comes to their families. We don't see much of this from Harry's POV, with the exception of the Malfoys and their peculiar brand of love, so I quite enjoy exploring it from Tor's perspective and giving the bad guys a little heart. I think you're right: it definitely makes them pitiable, even if it's only the fact that their love isn't enough to keep them from doing horrible things.
I'm so happy you feel like this chapter tells a lot without being too detailed or bare: the story is all about contradictions, and it's great to hear these are already coming across in the initial chapter.
Thank you so much for stopping to check out my story and leaving such a wonderful review, it really made my day! :)