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Review:Voldy Needs a Hug says:
It's Voldy Needs a Hug here with your (very late) review.

Firstly, I found this chapter slightly confusing. The rapid switching back and forth between the past and the present was a bit disorienting and hard to follow at times. These time changes disrupted the flow, making it a bit choppy. Perhaps this chapter would transition more smoothly if it was divided into two separate chapters, one chapter containing her flashback and the second chapter picking up at the present. This would also make it easier for readers to comprehend what is taking place.

Additionally, your introduction of various nicknames was also somewhat confusing. For simplicity, most authors only create one nickname for the main character to avoid such confusion. Authors also commonly state that the protagonist prefers to be referred to by their nickname. In the first chapter alone, the protagonist is referred to as Amber, Ambs, and Ru.

This first chapter was chalk full of information, which can be a bit overwhelming for readers. Perhaps if you introduced some of this information gradually over several chapters, readers would have an easier time following the story. For example, instead of including so much information about each character in this chapter, you could include a few facts about the characters in each chapter.

You did an excellent job of creating suspense in this chapter, which compels people to continue reading. I'm a huge fan of the originality of your story and am excited to see how it ends. I noticed a few spelling and grammatical errors while I was reading, such as missing commas, but, overall, nice job!

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