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Review:academica says:
Hey, here from Review Tag!

OK, first thing I have to say--kudos to you for being willing to break out of your comfort zone and try something new. I think that's essential to growing as an author, and I've forced myself to do it several times now so sometimes I forget how nerve-wracking it can be. That said, don't be so hard on yourself in your author's note! If you're not at least a little confident in what you post, you can't really expect anyone else to appreciate it :)

Okay, now that my public service announcement is out of the way--I think you did a fantastic job. Myrtle is a really hard character to grasp, I think, and I loved your especially dark take. I can understand how someone who died so young would give almost anything to recapture life, both the good and the bad, and to feel normal again.

Your details here were really great. I especially love how Myrtle felt a new surge of loneliness as she realized that a new class period had begun and she wouldn't be seeing any visitors for a while. I also liked how you made a distinction between the endless emotional pain she feels quite tangibly and the physical pain she oddly finds herself missing.

The ending was really sad, too, because I can imagine that it's heartbreaking for Myrtle to be around when the exams she never got to take are over and the whole castle is in celebration. It's clear that she missed a lot, and unjustly so.

The only thing I'd suggest to improve this would be to go back and look at a few technical errors. There were just a couple typos I noticed (like 'old women' instead of 'old woman') and a few instances of awkward phrasing (for instance, it sounded at first like you described her nose as being 'not oval' instead of her face). But these are just little things.

Nice work!

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hi Amanda :)

I know what you mean. I kept stopping to read what I'd written in between. But I am glad with how it came out, now when I read back. I wasn't feeling quite as confident back then! I'll edit my notes. You have a good point :P

I'm glad you liked this so much! You're too kind :) I never paid much attention to Myrtle in the books, and even in fanfiction, whenever she's mentioned, she is quite whiny and unlikable. So I was happy that this quote inspired me to think of this from her point of view. I too felt that she would give anything to have a chance to truly feel again- good or bad.

I'm also happy you liked the details. I know it's quite descriptive, and that there really isn't any dialogue. So the details really make the story. And to hear that I've done that well, really makes me happy!

Oh! I never noticed these errors. I shall read through it and make the changes! Thank you so much for pointing out :)

Thanks again. I loved your review :)


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