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Review:Erised says:
Hi again Adi! *hugs*

So I'm back to review this third chapter and I can safely say that I love it just as much as the others, if not more. We're well into the storyline now and so the plot has become more developed which is awesome to see. I can also see the beginnings of future plotlines too like how Lily and James fall in love which I am so excited to read!

Honestly, you are just SO good with feelings and emotions here. As it's written from Snape's point of view and we all know what happened to him and Lily it's so lovely to see how much he cared for her and as I mentioned before how devastated he would have been when she died even though they weren't friends anymore. That really comes across in this chapter as much as the others and it is really true love for him! This line in particular made me smile - "He watched her, as a feeling of security washed over him. He loved how comfortable they were with each other." - it just gives me the warm fuzzies to see just how much Lily means to him and also how she's his one true friend. To have Lily as his ray of light in his otherwise unhappy life is something you express so well in your writing.

I also thought that the conflicted emotions that Snape has about his interest in the Dark Arts and Lily was also really well done too. It's not something we're used to seeing in canon and so I thought that him choosing to go to The Three Broomsticks rather than the Dark Arts place first was a very good way of showing where his loyalties still lie for the moment. It'll be interesting to see the change in his behaviour in future chapters! Also I liked the little bit of banter between Avery and Snape too - Avery came across as very much a Slytherin but also very much a kid too - what I mean by this is not overly evil and still interested in things like Honeydukes. I'm not sure I've explained that very well but I'm glad you didn't write them as their adult selves too much!

I think my favourite line from the entire chapter was when Lily declares that she wishes she was in Ravenclaw, and Snape asks "Why not Slytherin?". Lily's response really just speaks volumes about the tiny invisible line between their friendship and really highlighted how fundamentally different people they are. I feel that it was a tiny exchange that said a lot with very few words! Loved it!

I can't wait for the next chapter to come out Adi because I have enjoyed this story so much so far! Keep writing and AWESOME job so far! :)

Jenny :)

Author's Response: JENNY! :D
I'm so happy to see another one from you!

Your reviews make my cheeks hurt from smiling too much, but I wouldn't worry about that one bit!

The story has certainly begun to take shape here. And it where I tried to introduce James into the story properly, so that the early dynamics between the three of them show clearly.

It makes me incredibly happy to hear that you think I'm great with emotions. It's such an important part of any story and to have managed to do that well, is something that makes me both pleased and relived. Lily is Snape's everything. He would do anything in the world for her. but at this point, I think that Lily is still quite unaware of his emotions, and this is what makes their relationship so innocent. I lobe the unrelenting love that Snape feel for her. She is indeed very lucky.

I also believe that turning to the Dark Arts wouldn't have happened overnight. Snape would certainly have had the tendency from before. When and how he chooses to act on it is a completely different matter. However, no matter what, Snape would always place everything over and above Lily. And I was trying to show this in an indirect way. I wanted to make it more interpretive and symbolic, rather than just laying it out there. I'm glad you picked up on that appreciated it!

And funnily enough, I did understand what you meant by that bit about still portraying them as children! It's endearing in a way to think that they are like everyone else, in a way.

Haha! :) I sort of like that line as well. It really highlights the difference in their personalities, something I've been hinting at since the very beginning.

I know I've been promising an update, and it's lying in a folder waiting to be uploaded. but I would like to add another chapter or two before that. I'll make it as quick as I can :)
Thanks again for another amazing review! :D


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