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Review:Lady of Tears says:
So, you asked me to come and review this...and I think all you're going to get is an extremely gushy, fangirl-like squealing. Then I remembered all the kind reviews you've left me, and I felt even more happy.

Really, this was gorgeous! You have every right to be proud of your characterization. I thought it was spot on, and also refreshing at the same time. It was different from most of the perspectives from Peter and Severus, but fit perfectly with the characters I imagined.

What I really want to compliment you on though is your use of present tense. It's a really tricky thing to write, and I've found it to be jarring in some stories. But it flowed really well here, and I felt like I was in the moment with these characters.

Your descriptions didn't seem over the top to me. :)

Some of the canon things, like Harry being with McGonagall, have already been mentioned. But I honestly didn't mind it. It was creative license with a moment that I believe would have happened if these characters had been placed in that situation. So it seems canon to me, and I say go ahead and take those small liberties.

I want to write more because this story deserves it, but I'm kind of at a loss for words at how good this is. Keep going and ask me to review again! Though I'll probably beat you to it.

Oh. And I don't know how you plan to include Remus, but I'm really excited to see what you do.

-Lady of Tears

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for stopping by! No worries on initially thinking this was a multi-chapter fic; I've definitely done that before :) And gosh, I really need to go back and catch up on your story sometime. I remember loving the plot.

Thanks, I'm glad you liked the characterization. These were both difficult characters but I felt like there were uncanny contrasts in their lives and I just really felt this urge to write about them in more detail.

I actually had to go back several times and check to make sure I hadn't accidentally used past tense. I'm getting more comfortable with present tense, but my usual M. O. is to use past, so I guess it's become a habit for me. I'm happy that you think it flowed well because I did worry about it sounding awkward at times, but at the same time I felt like the spy theme would be more effective if you were experiencing it with the character.

Haha, great! I'm actually a bit proud of some of the descriptions I put in here, like the way I talked about the destroyed parts of Godric's Hollow, but I sometimes tend to push it too far and overwhelm the plot. I'm happy that I kept it controlled enough here!

Yeah, gosh, I got so worried about trying to keep to the proper timeline of when Peter betrayed the Potters to when they died and when Severus begged for Lily's life and whatnot that I totally forgot smaller details like Harry being taken straight to the Dursleys. Thank goodness that I have reviewers like you to remind me! But I'm very happy that it still worked okay and felt "canon," because I do think it represents an important moment for Severus's growth here.

Thanks so much for your very lovely review :)


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