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Review:MC_HK says:
I don't want this to sound mean, but I strongly encourage you to get the help of a beta reader. I see a lot of grammar, tense, and spelling errors. There are sentences that are missing words, and really mess up the flow. It's not a bad chapter; I find the plot rather interesting, in fact. It's just that a lot of the things that I mentioned earlier can mask even the best of plots, and should really be taken care of.

I do really like the pacing of this story though. Not too fast, not too slow, and you have a good amount of detail and description.

Until next time, MC_HK

Author's Response: Yes, I know that. I've been trying to find a beta actually. Anyways, thank you for the feedback :)

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