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Review:AlexFan says:
Why exactly is Dorcas in the will? As far as I can tell she doesn't have much to do with the Black family and you've never mentioned that she ever met Sirius's uncle (unless you did and I've forgotten in which case forgive me).

I wouldn't suggest switching point of views in the middle of a chapter. It disrupts the flow of the chapter and can confuse some readers who may not be aware that the point of view has changed. The transition to the next scene was also very abrupt.

The beginning of the chapter starts out in Sirius's point of view and then once his part is done it immediately switches back to Dorcas's.

'The smell of Veritaserum hung slyly in the air'

The thing that I'm wondering is how the smell of Veritaserum can hang in the air slyly?

The end though, oh my God, the end of this chapter. Things are not going to end well for Dorcas. What is she going to tell everyone? I suppose she'll just not tell the truth through strong will.

Author's Response: That is not explained now, and may seem a bit random, but it is important for later.

I'm sorry! Other people have said this, and I never found it particularly disruptive while reading, but I guess it is.

Veritaserum is just a sneaky potion. I feel like it's something that would dilute the senses as well as force you to tell the truth. It's like everything becomes rather hazy for a bit.

You'll have to see! It may seem abrupt and coincidental, but it's all explained later like I've said before.

I'm happy you reviewed, and look forward to your next!


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