Okai, so I know I shouldn't be happy about James and Lily fighting but wow! This was a very intense scene! I love what you're doing with the characters by the way. Lily's doubt that she should launch herself freely into the romantic feelings she's been having for James, both their tempers rising up when they aren't on the same page, are emotional reactions that people have ALL the time, thus giving them enormous depth.
I'm especially enjoying seeing Lily progress. I am beyond thrilled that you chose to take her slowly, rather than straight out abandoning herself to her love for James. Even if that could be a form of reaction, I know many people feel guilty if they start being happy after the death of someone important because they believe they don't have a right to move on, not now. Which is a completely understandable feeling, but silly nonetheless. If the someone we lost was dear to us and loved us, they'd want us to be happy and move on, not stay trapped in grief forever. So yeah, I'm very pleased with how you're handling Lily. Choosing to wait and sort out her feelings first shows a great deal of maturity on her side.
I love the detail you're pouring into your descriptions by the way. You take your time with every scene you're writing, so we can have a clear visual of their surroundings or their feelings, which I find is always greatly helpful for me to get in the real mood of the story. I think the setting of scenes is the first step to a successful chapter :D
Also, I'm very much enjoying the bits and pieces of information you're confiding to us as indication of the growing darkness outside the castle walls. I think you're doing a great job in mixing their daily lives at Hogwarts with everything else going on in the Wizarding War outside and I cannot wait to see what happens next!!
Author's Response: I'm so excited you like what I'm doing with them!!! I'm not someone that lashes out when I'm angry, more than anything i just retreat into a little shell, but I think Lily is. There's an old saying, something about how it's always easier be mean to the people who know who love you, because they're always going to love you. I wanted to sort of show a bit of that in Lily in this chapter. She's using this argument as a way to try and drive him off, and make herself feel a spark again, but he's not going to be shaken that easily. Come on, Lily, the guys been hanging around for years, did you really think that would do it? Silly redhead :P.
I'm so excited that their rising tempers through all the turmoil felt realistic!! I had fun writing their fight, hehe.
I definitely try and move their relationship at a realistic place. It's a huge deal to me to show that they fell in love and got married because that's how the *felt* not because of convenience or anything along those lines.
I'm a sucker for setting scenes. Once we're in there, i try to avoid bringing anyone back out with long winded metaphors or descriptive language, but I do get carried away sometimes, hehe.
Thank you so much for another lovely review, Roxi! You pick up on so many little details, and seem to just get what I wanted someone to feel while writing it, and that makes me so happpy!!! Thank you!! ♥