Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:MargaretLane says:
Hmm, this sounds really interesting. Nice to see other versions of how Voldemort was defeated and how the series might have ended.

Love the line "emotionally, his heart refused to accept it".

And Ron and Hermione's reactions to the thought of the Dursleys possibly being targeted because of their connection to Harry seem totally in character, as does Harry's own reaction. No matter how much he hates the Dursleys, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't want them, or anybody, suffering because of him.

The one criticism I'd have is there seems to be a lot of "telling" going on here. I know you are summing up what's happened between the end of Deathly Hallows and this and some of it is really good and gives us a good insight into how Harry is thinking, like showing his feelings on Dumbledore's death and his breaking up with Ginny. Actually, the latter seemed to be rather glossed over in canon and I like how you deal with it. But some of it might be better if it was shown. It's a bit like Harry is just listing what happened and as if the story hasn't really started yet. Seeing the Dursleys interacting with Ron and Hermione or Hermione fussing over how to protect the Dursleys would be interesting.

Really like the appearance of the shadowy person. You write it really well and it's quite surprising, which I guess is how Harry is feeling as well. It also gets some suspense going, apart from the obvious about how they are going to defeat Voldemort and if anybody will die and so on. I am now really interested to know who this character is.

It crossed my mind it might be Dumbledore having faked his death in some way too.

Hmm, this is really interesting. I THINK these people are good guys, but I wouldn't be 100% sure. I think it's all a bit suspicious.

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I've added your suggestions into my file. Now that I think about it, the first chapter usually does include a fair bit of narration to catch up what has happened before the story begins. I'll need to change it up a bit to make it more dynamic...

Caerwyn and Dilys are good guys, but have had to learn secrecy because they are different and more powerful than other wizards and witches.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 473
Submit Report: