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Review:AlexFan says:
You should watch out for Americanisms, it's small things like 'mom' instead of 'mum' and I know I'm being really nitpicky but I'm just pointing out things as I go.

I love young Dorcas, she's just so full of sass. She's all like, "pssh, who are you trying to fool, I know what that badge is, you can't do nothing. Now step aside and brush that hair." That sass, I just can't get over the sass!

How does Sirius know how to do a stunning spell? Obviously he's really young and someone that young shouldn't be able to do a spell that took Harry until something like fourth year to master.

"You're too perfect." Now that's something that I've never seen stated about a character outright before. I've never heard of strong magic killing people before. I'm interested to know in how that works, I hope you explain more on how having strong magic can cause you to die young.

That last line, "I'm so perfect I could die," made me laugh because it pretty much sums up Dorcas's situation. I'm sorry, I'm trying to get over that but I just love that line. By far my favourite line so far.

Anyway, awesome job, I finally got to know some more about Dorcas and what her life might end up being like!

Author's Response: I'm sorry, I thought I caught all those as well. More editing for me, oh the joys of writing.

I love her, too! I mean, I really do. She was so much fun to write, especially because I usually write older and more serious(no pun intended) characters.

Wow, I completely overlooked that. I guess you could say it was because of who he grew up with. I mean, having Bellatrix around all the time he'd have to learn something.

Yes, this is where Dorcas starts to change a bit. You'll see in the next few chapters more about what it means, and I actually get really excited about that it's not good for my health.

I loved writing that, because it felt like something Dorcas would say. She's someone who likes having her own little inside jokes.

Thanks for your review, and I hope you get to read mine soon, because I loved your one-shot!


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