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Review:MC_HK says:
"He, he thought we couldn't handle it without you." This kind of a pause should be done like, "He He thought we couldn't handle it without you." You've got a couple of spelling errors sprinkled throughout the chapter as well that should be fixed. There are also some punctuation errors where there are periods instead of commas. And those gosh darn repetitive words! You gotta fix those lol! There are also some sentences that sound kind of jumbled in the sense that the words are out of order. You've done a bit better in terms of indicating who is saying what, but it's still an issue for me. You've got the word "shrunk" when it should be "shrunken". And there is some inconsistency in your facts. When Dorcas puts a disillusionment charm on herself, earlier you said it was hard for her to cast even the most simple of spells. I also noticed you have some missing words as well.

I do like the premise of this chapter though, and I like Nick's POV.

Until next time MC_HK

Author's Response: Thank you again! I can never figure out how to do those pauses, and I always thought the dot dot dot was incorrect. I guess not!

I never thought that I used periods instead of commas until some reviewers started pointing it out, and now that I look back, it's completely wacky! Thanks for mentioning that.

She does have trouble casting spells, but, unfortunately, it does not stop her most of the time. That's Dorcas for you.

I'm glad you liked it, and sorry about the repetitive words and errors!

I'll respond to a review soon!


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