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Review:patronus_charm says:
Hi Jami!

Yay someone else thinks that Victoire may have suffered a little from mental problems. I thought you handled the complexities of her thoughts and emotions really well! One key thing which enabled you to do was the second person POV as it allowed an insight into her thoughts and an almost outsider view to them too and that was really great.

The theme of her beauty and idea of her from others throughout this one-shot was really great. It tied in well with her name denoting that she should have those characteristics and showed me how all of those things could result in her final action when someone can’t handle them properly.

The idea of her friend/voice was really great due to the ambiguity which surrounded it. I never really knew whether this person was real or whether it was all in the head. Obviously, I’m more inclined to think the latter but the fact that I still faced confusion really helped me understand Victoire’s situation and the power the voice must have had on her.

This line ‘You’re perfect, as perfect and…. up as they come.‘ was really great! The bleeped out word really added to it and it basically showed how she viewed herself really well. ♥

I really liked how briefly you dwelt on Teddy. It really showed how self-absorbed she really was and how herself and this voice which comforts was all that she needed. I always imagined there to be a difference of power in their relationship with Victoire being the more dominant one, so to see how she just almost discards him here was really great.

The setting for her final act was perfect. ♥ The use of the phial and her being naked just seemed to give this air of mystery and show her mental state for what it is. I had a feeling it was going to lead up to this, and it seemed fitting because your portrayal of her throughout this story showed that there wasn’t really any coming back from where she was.

I spotted one really minor typo here ‘the parents you can’t seem to understands’ with the extra s on understand, but other than that I really loved this one-shot! ♥

-Kiana

Author's Response: Two Kiana reviews in one day!!! ♥

I really just wanted to write a story about a character so messed up, and Victoire seemed to fit the part perfectly. Gorgeous, blessed with a loving family, the first post war child... taking all that and twisting it into someone who is just not an okay person was SO much fun, hehe.

I'm so excited you liked second person for this! I was worried it might make it all almost too confusin.

Yep, I'm with you on thinking it was the latter. I've had a few people mention her having multiple personality disorder, and I didn't exactly mean to do that with this one shot, but I think it comes pretty close. I almost think it's something darker though. Not exactly an illness that a person can't help, like MPD/DID, but her own choice to follow through with her 'friends' ideas, to let herself just get more twisted up in her need to destroy things.

hehehe I'm really excited you liked that line. I know everyone doesn't love harsher language, but it just fit.

Yes!! I love what you said about there not being any coming back!! That's exactly it. She's too far gone, and not only that but she has no desire to save herself. Ahh I'm super excited you noticed that. ♥

Oops, thank you for pointing that out! I'll go fix it right now ♥ thank you so much for another amazing review, Kiana!!!


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