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Review:patronus_charm says:
Team Blue!

I thought you caught the air of Regulus really well. Iíve never read about him from first person POV before but I really enjoyed it here. You got the arrogance of him being a pureblood prince down perfectly but there was still an air of innocence in there which worked really well.

I liked the joining to canon things such as him stealing Siriusí magazines and Walburga being protective of him. Both things made sense due to Sirius leaving them and I really liked it as it gave a touch of Regulus slightly following in Siriusí bad footsteps.

The idea of him going into Siriusí room to provoke his conscious was really lovely. It showed us what he was going to do next with directly saying and that subtly was really effective. I think the way you left it hanging was really great.

I have a couple of CCs for you if you donít mind. There was a massive paragraph towards the end of this one-shot which made it a little tricky to keep up my concentration on, so perhaps if you spilt it up a little that would be better.

Also in regards to some of Walburgaís dialogue you didnít always keep up the formal air expected of her, for example you said twelve PM at one point and that seemed a little too American and informal for me so perhaps midnight would be better.

I hope I didnít seem to harsh, I just wanted to make the one-shot the best it can be as itís really great! ♥


Author's Response: Thank you so much! I think this is one of the stories I'm prouder of, because Regulus is such a rare character. I really enjoyed writing him without any influence from reading other stories.

I definitely have a problem with writing too long of a paragraph, so I will fix that right away, and I also do use a lot of Americanisms, so I'll fix that as well.

You weren't being harsh at all! That was just the critique I needed.

Team Bronze, signing off

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