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Review:MC_HK says:
The first thing I notice right away are repetitive words. My warning to you is be careful, as this can render the reader incredibly bored of your story. Your shorter sentences should be made longer because they make it the flow very disjointed. You also jump the gun on a couple of your ideas. When Dorcas learns her magical capacity is at 73, she said it seems okay, but she doesn't even know what it is yet, or what the scale is. And Madame Pomfrey didn't even mention that her files were all open and everything. She did for a little bit, but then it was like she forgot. If she put a spell on them, then she would have been more concerned, at least that's what I think. And the last POV is just called Third POV. It should be told from the POV of Dumbledore considering Third POV doesn't really make sense.

I liked how Dorcas found out about her sister, though. I thought that was interesting. I also like the personality you gave to Pomfrey. We don't see much of her in many fics, so it's nice to see what you can do with her.

Until next time MC_HK

Author's Response: Thank you so much! This is really the type of review I needed for this chapter. The whole thing is a bit of a mess, I guess.

When Dorcas said it seemed okay, that's really what she meant. It seems like that's okay, but she can't be sure yet.

I'm glad you liked Madame Pomfrey, and I'm glad you found it sort of interesting!

I'll be here, waiting for your review.


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