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Review:Erised says:
Hellooo! :)

So this is a good start to what I can tell is going to be some sort of heartbreaking, gut-wrenching kind of Severus Snape fic. I always feel so sorry for him and reading this hasn't helped! ;)

I enjoyed the prologue and how you fleshed out Harry as a character. Making him kind of contradictory - for instance with the Firewhiskey enticing him and repelling him - made him much more realistic as a character and it's also nice to see a version of Harry that isn't so straight-edge and bland. I liked the small part about Albus and Rose too - you characterised Rose as I would imagine her to be, what with the training wand (great idea) and books! Poor Albus too with his worries - I liked how you described him as sad when nobody was looking.

As for Spinner's End, I thought you did a good job of describing it and it meant that I could imagine its dilapidated state very well. I also liked that you wrote about the 'dark aura' around it even though Snape was okay in the end - it's a great reminder of the things he did as an undercover Death Eater.

The diary and Lily's letter made me smile, a lot. Plus the bit where you described the photo and how Severus was smiling out of pure happiness just made my heart go out to him! Poor Snape :( Even though he had known some hardship in his young life he had Lily, and you alluded to their close friendship very well. Also I can completely understand Harry for leaving the diary unopened for years as it's so personal - that dilemma of whether to open it or not came across very well. Lastly, I loved the last line - it just summed everything about Snape up so nicely and makes me want to read more.

One thing I would suggest is getting someone to do a quick beta of this, as I noticed a couple of uncapitalised names when there needed to be a capital and a couple of mixed up words. (I would be happy to do this if you want to PM me!) Other than this the structure and flow of the piece was very good.

Overall I think this was a very good and intriguing first start to what I'm sure is a very good story! Well done!

Author's Response: Hi there! :)

I sat and stared at the screen for five whole minutes before responding to this. I just love this review so much, and I doubt that any reply of mine could do much justice, but I'll try.

It means a lot to me that you went into every detail and dissected the story, from your angle. it makes your review so much more valuable. I'm really touched that you took the time to do that :)

When I read post-Hogwarts or NextGen, Harry's character usually isn't given any other dimension apart from humility and heroism, apart from everything that's already in the book. I've always admired JKR for how she wrote Harry. He was flawed in many ways. Never immune to jealousy or irrational bouts of anger. She made him very much human. Whenever I write about a character, the first think I look to do, is make them as realistic and believable as I can. I'm so glad that you liked how I've described him here! :)

About Rose... Well, Rose/Scorpius is possibly my favourite pairing, so I've written a lot about Rose Weasley. And I've often thought of her like this. It's always seemed as if she, like her mother, would try to learn as much as she possibly could about Hogwarts and magic before actually getting there.

Al's fears are something that, like any other child of his age, he probably wishes to hide. However, as the time to leave draws nearer, I believe that his thoughts about the sorting are more and more frequent. Hence, the lonely, sad moments.

This chapter was very heavy, for me to write, because it took a lot of my focused attention. I was trying to think of how Spinner's End would be, and I kept trying to visualize whatever I was writing at each stage. I'm happy that you think I've done a good job describing the place. Snape did go to the moon and back for Lily, and eventually Harry, and I think Spinner's End is very symbolic of a lot of things, including his inherent darkness.

Snape feels very unfulfilled at times. I sometimes think, that if there ever was a time where he was truly and genuinely happy, it'd have to be when he had Lily. I feel quite sorry for him too, actually :( After everything he went through. Every time I open the book, and go back to that chapter, I feel myself tearing up. Especially at the- 'Always.'

I know that there are some errors. I will probably go through it once and try to fix it up, if I ever need any help, I'll be sure to shoot a PM your way!

Your review has made my day... No, my week. Thank you SO much :) I really REALLY appreciate it ♥



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