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Review:Lady of Tears says:
I never had the chance to read your original, but I really loved reading this. I felt completely confident in the world that you created and in these new characters. There is a high degree of believeability that I really appreciated, since the "transfer student" plot can be very cliche and overdone. You've got nothing to worry about in that department.

I thought your mastery of suspense and intrigue as beautiful. I really want to know what happens next.

While I really enjoyed your descriptions, there were a few things that had me asking questions that confused. For example, everyone kept asking where Coralie was from, but I wanted to know why someone coming from France didn't have an accent. I assumed with a last name like Bennett that they might have relocated to France, but I still wanted more solid information about the family. I've got a feeling that there is some information being withheld for suspense, but I find, as a viewer, suspense comes because we know a lot outside of a few delicious details.

The only other thing is to utilize your spacing during the attacks Coralie experiences. When the large paragraphs are broken up, it almost helps us to feel the frantic nature, broken, fearful feeling someone is experiencing.

Other than that, I really enjoyed this. Good luck with your re-write!

-Lady of Tears

Author's Response: Hello!

Firstly, thank you for the lovely review- it honestly made my day. I'm glad that my characters seem believable, especially with the whole 'transfer student' cliche. It really meant a lot.

There are definitely things that are being held back at the moment- questions are answered about those sort of things in the next couple of chapters. As for the French accent, I tried to keep away from the 'ze' and whatnot that I've seen in other fanfictions as I personally believe it can take away from the dialogue. I have included a few French sayings in later chapters.

As for the spacing- I never even thought about that but it sounds like a great idea and I totally understand what you mean. I'll definitely work on that.

Again, thank you so much for the lovely review!!

x Ely


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