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Review:nott theodore says:
Hi Zayne! I'm sorry it took me so long to get around to reviewing this chapter!

First off, I love the fact that you've chosen to write about Mary as your main character. I wasn't that sure about her in the first chapter but I feel like I got a much better handle on her character here and I like the view on other characters that she offers; she's rather quiet and reflective and I think she seems to pick up on more than she lets on. It gives us a really intriguing insight into other characters.

The reappearance of Laura White is very intriguing! I find myself wondering what has happened to her and how that is connected to Mary - there's obviously something that has happened to her in the past that she avoids thinking about. I have a feeling that it involves Wilkes or Regulus, but I'm not entirely sure. I wonder if there is anyone else that she's told about it?

I'm not sure what to think about Florence yet. Normally I'm biased towards characters like Lily just because of what we know of her in canon, but she hasn't really done much in this story to endear herself to the other Gryffindors, so I can understand Florence's attitude towards her. Her response to get rid of Peeves made me laugh.

I like the conversation with James. You don't often see one of the Gryffindor girls in the Marauders era having a friendship with someone like James that doesn't stem from his relationship with Lily, so I like the idea that she knew him before they both started school and their families have been close. The influences of the war are also becoming clear here, and I'm looking forward to see this develop in the rest of the story.

Overall, a great chapter!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hiya, sorry for the late response!

I am glad you're warming up to Mary. I really enjoy writing her even though she's so very 'into' herself if you know what I mean. It can make it hard to connect with simply because of her introversion and she doesn't let on about a lot of things. You got it right, she does understand more than she lets on but she'd rather coast through things at the moment. I'm really excited to continue writing her because I love exploring this sort of characterization where the main character isn't larger than life. She's a very timid, scared girl and more interested in other people lives.

I'm also pleased you caught onto to something that is haunting her past. Whether Laura is connected or not time will only tell. She will continue popping up in the story though.

I know what you mean with Florence. I think she's a character people will either hate or love. I love writing her but if i were to meet her in RL i'm not sure if i'd want to be her friend. In a way she's really fun but there's definitely a darker side to her that will be coming up within her.

Thank you so much for your lovely review and you nice comments. i'm pleased you like how the story is building :)


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