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Review:ohmymerlin says:
Hey, Tawi!

This was an amazing piece. You write absolutely amazingly! I love the descriptions you write, they're just so vivid and paint such a beautiful picture.

However, I just have some tiny CC:

"Exceptyou're your now honey-brown-golden coloured hair," -- this just needs a space between the 'except' and 'you're';

"There is atleast a four mile stretch of undisturbed tarmac road," -- again, this just needs to have a space between the 'at' and 'least';

"I hold a hand over her talkative mouth," -- correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that should be 'your' instead of her, as that's the way the rest of the story is.

I also just had another quick read-through and the first sentence is: "Her head lays on my shoulder; fifty-nine variations of blonde hair falls across her pretty features," and I was just curious if the 'her's' should have been 'you's' instead, or is this a different girl Lysander is talking about? You might just want to go over that again to clear it up.

Other than those things, I didn't notice anything else! :)

But seriously, you have such a lovely writing style, it's very smooth and easy to read.

I also really enjoyed the style of this one-shot! I liked that Lysander was narrating the story to Dom, it really gave us an insight into their relationship.

Also, I'm wondering why Dom won't remember Lysander? Is that explained in the story and have I just missed it? Or is that explained in Raining Fire? Anyway, it's intriguing, it certainly adds a certain level of mystical-ness. :p

Anyway, I really enjoyed reading this story. You have an absolutely lovely writing style and your banner is absolutely gorgeous. You are very talented, missy! :p

- Kayla. :)

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