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Review:magnolia_magic says:
Okay. So this review is terribly, shamefully late. I got incredibly distracted by life and then the House Cup :( But enough of my excuses! On to the review!

I am so glad you included this chapter, first of all. I always love sorting chapters, because we get to feel the magic of seeing Hogwarts for the first time, all over again. I think that's the biggest strength of the way you've written Damon's experiences in this chapter--I could really feel his wonder, his bewilderment at it all. The image of Dominique holding her hand out to him and saying, "Welcome to the world of magic, Damon" really drives that feeling home for me. It's like something you might see in a movie :)

I love Damon's narrative voice in this. It's very casual, and I like the little comments he throws in about how unbelievable it all is. When he's at the platform and says: "Yeah, it's times like this when I think I'm being played." I laughed out loud at that! And it was fun to meet the nextgen kids and see them from his perspective.

I like what you're doing with Dominique so far, too. At first I found it a little odd that Damon's mention of the orphanage didn't get even a little bit of curiosity from her. That's something that would start a conversation, I think. But in a way it sort of makes sense. Dominique is from a famous family, after all, and she knows what it's like to have people prying into your life. Maybe she wanted to spare Damon from that feeling. In any case, I like her for Damon because she seems more take-charge about things, while Damon is along for the ride (at least for now.) She seems tough and very kind at the same time, and I love that combination :)

And he's sorted into Gryffindor! I wondered where Damon would end up. He seems like a Hufflepuff to me (and I do take issue with Puffs being portrayed as "indecisive people." But I suppose it makes sense that school kids would describe the house that way.) And I have to disagree with the Hat on one point...I haven't really sensed much ambition in Damon so far. But it's still very early on in the story; maybe it will show up later :) Anyway, I love that you had the hat take his choice into account. And those last couple of lines were so cute! He wanted to follow Dominique! I think that makes perfect sense; he clearly likes her, and she's the only familiar thing in the world to him right now. I'm so excited to see where things go from here for those two :)

This was a great follow-up to the first chapter! I think you're doing well...keep up the great work! And sorry again for the incredibly late review :/

--Maggie

Author's Response: Apologies for the incredibly late response!
But thankyou for a great review :)
I'm glad you liked the chapter and I do agree with seeing parts as a movie, I'm a student of TV so a lot of what I write is initially an idea that can be put onscreen!
I'm glad you pointed out the lack of ambition, I think I'm going to change that bit because you're right, Damon isn't very ambitious so far!
Thanks again
-KO


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