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Review:marauderfan says:
Hello! :) Here for our review swap!

This looks like a good start to your story! Your characters are a lot of fun so far and they seem realistic. You did a good job capturing Perri's star-struck nervousness when she met Harry. And I like how well she fits in with James, Roxy, and Finn despite that she's the "new girl" and everyone else has known each other for years. I was kind of wondering why she's there, though - what made her switch schools? I assume it has something to do with why she can see the thestrals, but that's just my guess ;) I'd love to find out more about Perri's back story in future chapters.

If you don't mind a bit of CC, I think the first part is a little confusing. I get that it's a flashback to some experience of torture, but the way it's juxtaposed there right before Perri talks about her lungs being compressed as she shows up on the platform, makes it seem like a really long, painful experience of Apparating onto Platform 9 and 3/4! Which I am sure is not what you intended ;) It's certainly a gripping start, but if you want to separate that flashback from the discomfort of apparating onto the platform I think it'd be easier to understand what's happening.

Altogether this looks like a great start, well done!

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you so much for the review! You've been so, so helpful! I'm working on the history behind her move to Hogwarts, but I think I'll add more so that nobody become too confused! Ah, okay! I'll work on making it less confusing! I never noticed that they mixed together like that, so thank you for bringing it to my attention! Thank you so much, lovely! xx

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