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Review:Cirque Du Freak says:
The day of the ball has arrived and then you cut the chapter short just before all the exciting events could happen! It was the typical writer in you to do so, I can tell. :P

I really like this chapter where you've introduced Harry and Albus here - Harry is much what you expect as he's the man of the house, most respected and held in high reserve. Albus is a bit of a wild card here as you could go either way and it's very interesting the way you chose to characterize him!

I loved the fact that he has a very outlandish sense of style (reminds of the Weasley twins once they had come into a bit of money) and the fact that he's pretty vain about his appearance as you mentioned he didn't like to wear glasses for the fear of them tainting his image. The whole thing is pretty laughable when you think about it.

This is a very Lily-centric chapter although you do slightly slip into Rose and then bring the narration back out in the paragraph where she's noticed Albus' attire - that could have probably been done in Lily's POV where she had noticed the look on Rose's face, something they could have bonded over the fact that Albus was eccentrically dressed. The two cousins have similarities shared even though it's not at all apparent as of yet.

I like the interaction between Lily and Ginny about Rose as the characters are very much alike when it comes to certain situations and how Lily feels a bit left out and finds the behaviour rather improper - it shows a clear divide between them as people, but still I think Lily has a point when it comes to her view on wanting to get married to secure her future. I think she could be unpredictable in her actions after she's married and she has that freedom as a woman.

I think I will leave my review bombing here and pick up again some time during the next week (I'm so awful at reviewing is what I'm saying).

Lovely writing as always, Susan!
Hannah


Author's Response: Haha, yes. :P I love a good cliff-hanger when I can fit one in. It's also a problem of mine that I end up writing too much, adding one description after another until I end up with double-length chapters. I really don't know how the word count adds up so quickly. *hides*

What you've said about Albus is exactly right - he can go either way, becoming a positive or negative character, or perhaps staying somewhere in between. He does help Rose in many ways, yet he also hinders her. It's also very uncertain what he does with himself - does he merely pretend to be a fop? Is he a government spy? An Unspeakable? A hit wizard? It's left up in the air, mostly because he does so much to appear silly and vain. It makes him a very interesting character to write, and I wish that I had the room in this story to expand his storyline further.

I'm glad to hear that you like Harry's characterization. For some reason, he's very nice to write about when he's an adult - his responsibilities have given him a sort of gravity that suits him.

I'll check over the POV in this chapter again. It is mostly from Lily's perspective, but there's always going to be some slippage. All the same, I'll see whether or not fixing it will, like you said, show more of the similarities between the two of them, at least on their opinions of Albus's fashion sense. Thank you for pointing that out!

Thank you very much for coming back to review these chapters, Hannah! Your reviews are excellent!


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