Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:charlottetrips says:
Ooh, good start! You've got the set up for a good ol' teenage love story.

Aaliyah seems like a girl who knows her own mind and I appreciate the close relationship she has with her sister. Aaliyah at least doesn't seem stuck up and someone who will stick by her friends and family which always endears me to a character. She does seem a tad judgmental with Albus. I mean, if she's childhood friends with James, how is it that she doesn't know or at least observe Albus a little better?

I do have to say that the writing came off as a little formal or I guess not as flowing as it could be. I think you're focusing a little too much on the extremely little details (like how it took her two minutes to walk down the corridor) but keeping in the details about the rusty doorknobs is pretty good.

I'm interested in Albus. You did a good job of making him out to be all dark and mysterious and I'm interested in seeing how his character develops. Also what is motivating him to do this fake couple thing. I know what he's saying but does he actually feel that way? Etc.


Author's Response:
I'm glad that you like Aaliyah. She was a little judgmental but she has her reasons. I know it is a bit weird that she didn't know Albus at all. I think it probably since back then she was different and less observant than now.

Too formal? Gotcha. I didn't want come out too outrageous so that may be why it came a little too formal. Hopefully I'll be more free in coming chapters. :)

Hehe, Albus is confusing. He does have another reason though I won't release it 'til later in the story. But yes he does feel guilty in a way. In his opinion, James didn't have to try and be the protector. His character will develop though and his secrets will come out.

Thanks for the lovely review.
I had a great time reading it.

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 593
Submit Report: