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Review:Elphaba and Boyfriends says:
Hi, Elphaba here with your requested review!

There are some good ideas in this story. For instance, I really like how you follow Ciara at work on the morning radio show. She is a bubbly, likable narrator, too.

This chapter has issues with missing articles (a, an, the) and punctuation. Here's an example: "Well, my dad has two left feet and mum's a superb flier but my dad was World cup's commentator few years back so that made up for it and also the Order of Merlin: the Third Class which was rewarded to my father as he had started the Potterwatch for the awareness about the war status and also due to Potterwatch a lot of people got the news about the Second Battle- the one where the chosen one killed the frozen one." This whole sentence should probably be divided into three. I might put a period after "made up for it" to make a second sentence, and then start the third sentence after "status."

"The frozen one" is really funny, by the way. :) I also really like Ciara's one-line summary for herself: "I am the only Jordan child and let's say I am both the good and the bad one." :)

I noticed that Madam Pomfrey's name is misspelled as "Pomphrey" throughout most of the chapter. You do spell it correctly near the end, however.

I question your inclusion of some muggle elements in the story. Shawn mentions watching a quidditch match on tv. Instead, it would make more sense for him to watch the game at a stadium, or perhaps wizards use something like a magical picture frame? I also doubt whether enough wizards would listen to Taylor Swift for her to become popular with them; I tend to think that only muggleborn witches and wizards would have the means to listen to muggle music outside of a muggle studies class.

I do really like the details at the end about how Ciara is learning muggle medicine from Charlie. I'm sure he learned a lot about treating burns from working with dragons. :) Did he stop working with dragons to work at St. Mungo's?

I'm curious to see how the interview with James will go and what she will blame him for. :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review :)

I loved the idea of a radio host in the Harry Potter story and only one thing came to my mind, Jordan's daughter.

I am really going to edit it soon.

The frozen one was one of my favorite line.

I wanted to show that after the war, prejudices against muggles should be decreased and that is what I have shown. I have tried to describe that wizards were adjusting to the muggle technology which is really advance and I think it's time the wizardry world advances itself too.

I think you have got it wrong, Charlie here is not the Weasley one but he is the best healer of the Mungos, the heir of the Mungos hospitals.

It would be awesome. The interview.
Hope you review again.


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