Hi! I know I said that I would review this over the weekend, and here I am, a day late! I failed, but you certainly didn't!! For the first entry in my challenge, this did not disappoint my expectations! :D
I really loved the repetition of "catalyst to somebody's universe where everything was right." It's one of those phrases that resonates--it has overtones and echoes and strikes different chords in my mind. Perfection!!
I thought it was really cool how, even though you didn't incorporate the quote into the story, I could still see its influence everywhere. The people outside the café, whom the girl judged at first, and then came to see as human beings, just like herself. It really tells a similar story to the song, "Human of the Year," I think, in that the man in the song was singled out as being "better" than the other humans, and this girl sees herself as "better" than Muggles. Very interesting parallels! Did you mean to do that? If so, cool! If not, cool! Sometimes the best kinds of symbolism are the kinds that we don't even realize we add in until later. :)
My big question is: Is the girl Bellatrix, or was she tortured by Bellatrix? I noticed that Bellatrix was listed as a character, and for most of the story, I thought that she was the girl, but now I'm not so sure. How does the girl fit into the Potterverse? What kind of family did she come from (besides the fact that her brother was a Death Eater)? What is her name?
It's okay if none of those questions have answers. I'm rather fond of writing something and just not even giving my character a name or a backstory. I think that for this one-shot, you put just enough inside information for the story to really grow wings and take flight. You didn't get bogged down in the minute details, and so the broader theme could come through. Beautiful. :)
Wonderful, fabulous story! I thoroughly enjoyed it! :D
May your pen never run out of ink!
Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much for the super sweet review! I'll start with the questions- the girl isn't Bellatrix, the woman who did the torturing was Bellatrix haha. She wasn't really a main character but she was my only canon character so I thought I'd just shove her in. The main character I think is definitely a Shafiq (a canon pureblood family mentioned on Pottermore). I'm not 100% sure of her first name but I sort of imagined it to be something Middle Eastern- maybe Jalila? I'm not sure- I think her family have certainly been in Britain for a long time (they were included in the list on Pottermore which was supposedly written in the 1930s, so they must've married and had children with other british purebloods) but I imagine they held on to some of their cultural traditions, particularly names? I don't know I thought way too much about this considering the extent of the one-shot hahaha. So yeah, I think she's a little older than Harry, perhaps four or five years? Her brother is two years younger than her. She was a Slytherin, but her brother was a Ravenclaw. That's all I've got, really.
I might as well work up- you're right actually! I was originally going to write it from the point of view of the girl who she saved, but then I put on my Regina Playlist and I thought that I could totally do it from my protagonist's point of view and I was definitely listening to Human Of The Year around that time. I didn't read into it to much so it's really interesting that you noticed! When I first read the quote it immediately made me think of this, so yeah!
Thank you so much for the fab review,
(and actually ironically, about four of my pens have run out of ink in the past two days- well they do say, when it rains it pours.)