Hi, Sam! It has been far too long since I've reviewed any of this wonderful story, so here we go!
I really liked the scene in the park. Al's career hasn't gotten a huge amount of focus so far in the story, so it's neat to see him plying his trade. All the little details you worked in -- the surveillance, the chase, the one-way shield charm -- were really enjoyable little bits of what makes an Auror's, or Hit Wizard's job so interesting. And we get to see Harry and Theo being awesome together. I love the beaming sort of pride Harry is projecting, being tempered by his professional decorum.
Ooh, so Louis is dating a vampire! You have an aversion to any sort of conventional romance, it seems, aside from Al and Lexi. Bravo! Conventional romance gets boring past a certain point. A werewolf and a vampire... now that's exciting. I know it isn't a central focus of the story, but I'd be really interested to see some of the relationship issues that pairing creates.
"You do know Lexi, right? She won't rest until your party is elaborate and fancy and that usually includes more guests than you need just to show off." -- OK, I may not be the most intuitive, sensitive fellow on the planet, but even I know that was a really bad choice on Al's part. You just DON'T say something like that to a girl who's pouring her heart and soul into planning something. Especially when she's got pregnancy hormones coursing through her veins. Double-especially when it's your kid causing it.
I end up down the street, to the small alley that we use to Apparate without been seen. I just close my eyes, no destination in mind, just the one thought: I need to talk to someone who understands us. It's a dangerous way of Apparating; even with the thought clear in your mind, you could likely end up anywhere and you usually end up splinched. -- Yikes! No kidding that would be dangerous. Still, I really like the choice you made here. Al's giving up control, letting fate guide him. That can't be easy for him. Look at what happened the last time he gave up control.
I think the picture that Theo took of Al and Lexi at age 14 after their valiant attempt to stay up all night might be the single sweetest thing you've come up with in this entire story. I have to stop and say it. I love, love, Love your Theo. He's a fantastic dad. And not in that Ward Cleaver sort of way. He's quiet, even sullen at times, and he can be more than a little menacing. But when things are tough, he always seems to know the right thing to say. Like in this situation. He knows how to put Al back on track.
The story of how Kieron and and Lexi came to be so distant from their mother was nicely told. You really built some complexity and layers of truth into that one. I had to pay attention pretty closely to follow all of the nuances. I liked that there wasn't anything clean-cut about it. There never really is in these sorts of family dramas. There's plenty of blame to go around and Kieron seems almost relieved when he's shouldered his share. The "I love you" moment between Al and Lexi was worth the price of admission for the entire chapter. Awesome to see the two of them finally cross that bridge in a completely sincere way.
A few small typos I noticed:
I'm currently the Auror apprehending Chris with a one of the junior Aurors who have been assigned to help us. - strike the "a" before "one".
While Chris is on the run, somewhere in the park, me and Peter act as though were members of the public, like if we were in town; -- as though we're
But I don't kno about Louis if that's why you're here; he's still at the hospital with Harry." -- I don't know
Otherwise, beautiful writing! Nicely done! The end is fast approaching. I shall return soon.
Author's Response: Hey, Dan! I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to respond!
Yes, Al's training. I wasn't going to leave it out. I planned everything, I have headcanon now. You needed to see it. :P Harry is very proud; like Al he is a bit of a worrier and he worries about Al, but seeing Al in his element, so to speak, is a very proud moment. Harry and Theo are always awesome together, I wouldn't have it any other way. ;)
Louis is dating a vampire! I don't do normal relationships often, it's boring. :P Issues between them, though - sequel. A bit.
I don't think that is something you should say to Lexi ever, pregnant or not, but that's probably because I know her so well. :P Poor move on Al's part, but he'll fix it. :)
Messy things happen when Al gives up the control he loves so much. I'm glad you liked that bit.
Awww, thank you. The picture was actually a surprise to me, I went with it and I liked it. Ahh, Theo is awesome!!! *cough* I do love Theo, I'm very happy you do, too. Very happy. :D Theo is very reliable, even when he's a bit bad. He's the one to go to, even Harry does. He knows what to do, he knows everything. ;)
Everyone played a part, it wasn't just one person's fault, and that's something I had planned from the beginning - Daphne isn't just a villain in the story, there's more to it than that. I was nervous about the result, so yay for liking it. Kieron is very relieved, yes. They keep lots of secrets and half truths, this family, it's rare for them to be so open and honest.
Yes! The 'I love you' is finally out there and said because it's right now, with things out in the open. Not everything, but things. :P
I'll get to the typos if I haven't already. :)
Thank you so much for leaving a review, Dan. And I'm sorry again for taking so long to answer. I don't know how you manage, but I envy and admire you for it. :D