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Review:luvinpadfoot says:
Ooh I loved this chapter! And James was right, a lot of Charlotte's answers were really telling. I may be kind of analyzing her at the moment. It was sweet how James felt sad for her when she said she wanted to be more like her sisters.

I do hope that's not how her family really feels about her and just her perception. That'd be awful if it was the case, although understandable I guess. It's hard to have a kid who's more like your ex than you from her father's point of view.

I'm really adoring James's character, especially in the beginning! He's just so- I don't really know how to explain it. Deep, I guess. But not unrealistically so. He's like the jock/playboy/whatever who actually has real thoughts, only hides them because he doesn't want to come off that way.

I do love that he's so different with Charlotte, though. The two seem so close already, opening up about stuff that normally they wouldn't talk about. I love it! And I can't wait to see what kind of questions Charlotte asks him and what answers he provides.

My one critique per chapter (because apparently you only have one thing per chapter that could be improved): there was a fair bit of dialogue without a lot of description in the second half or so. I dunno, the dialogue was really good, but it seemed like there could be some more description to go along with it.

But lovely chapter! I really enjoyed it and I can't wait for more! You're a very talented writer and you've done the characters so well that I'm addicted! :)

Author's Response: Hi again!

Thanks for the review, it really means a lot to me! It's such a huge relief knowing that the characters are coming across the way I want them to. Whew!

The story is definitely writing itself at this point- and unlike most of the other (non-fan fiction) stories I write, I'm not really playing the editor as much as I normally would. Somewhere around the halfway point I'll will probably go back and do some minor editing- add more description and things like that. Critiques help me as much as positive thoughts- so keep it coming!


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