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Review:ShadowRose says:
Hi Kayla! I was wandering around the forums and saw this story in the First War Horror Challenge, and just had to click on it!

I absolutely adore the second-person POV. It's a really challenging way to write, but when done right, it adds this really chilling theme to the whole thing, and really sticks the reader right in the middle of the action. For a story like this, second person was a brilliant choice, as it really did help the reader see the horror of the war.

I love your descriptions in here - even though your character is facing death, she still makes these insightful observations like, "He could have been beautiful, with high cheekbones and deep set eyes." It was so poignant, and just points out that Voldemort could have been such a different person. Even the description of her torture is done so well, and combined with the POV, the reader really feels like they're in the scene themselves.

I really love the vagueness of this story. You never call Voldemort by his name, and you call a wand a "silly stick" - so when he uses it to kill her, it shows just how powerful it really is, even though it's just a stick. I think it adds this extra layer of mystery, and works really well.

Speaking of mystery, I'm thinking that the main character was supposed to be Dorcas? They did say that Voldemort wanted to kill her himself, so I think that would make the most sense. I like that you left it open to interpretation though - it's almost a commentary on the fact that so many people experience deaths like these from the war that it's almost difficult to distinguish one from another... and I just went all literature class on you. :P

This story doesn't use much dialogue, but the brief moment it does - "You won't win." is just beautiful. Even in her last moments, Dorcas still holds onto what she's always believed, and Voldemort kills her for it.

I really can't think of any CC for this story - it's beautifully written and sends chills down my spine. Fantastic job!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

P.S.: If you're not planning on podcasting this, I would love to do so. :)

Author's Response: Hey, Taylor! :D

I love reading second person, I must admit. It was so much fun writing it as well! :'D

I'm so glad you enjoyed the vagueness. I really love writing vague things, it's so much fun being ~mysterious~ :p

It was meant to be Dorcas! :D That was who I had in my mind when I was writing it, so yay! Everyone has gotten it so far! :D

Thank you so much for this amazing review! And you're MORE than welcome to podcast this! I would absolutely love seeing it done by you! :D

- Kayla. :)


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