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Review:Rachel Payne says:
Can I just say that you are an author who is unafraid of the paragraph long explanations? It is such an important part of the writing process, other than just conversations and the character's thoughts, and many people do not understand the importance behind it.

Great opening, it seems like this story is going to be a good one, it is a little sluggish though. Maybe add in some humor, because this is just too serious, and yet it isn't DRAMATIC serious. It is more of a dull serious.


Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much - I'm glad you enjoyed that. :)

I know what you mean about it being sluggish. I'm not especially pleased with this first chapter, even after a lot of editing, to be honest, and I'll probably try to go back and look it over again soon.


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