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Review:patronus_charm says:
Hi again!

I forgot to mention it in my previous review so Iíll say it here. I love the names youíve chosen for all of the Slytherin OCs it really adds an air of authenticity about it. Torís rebel side was showing again when she went to go and meet them all. I liked that as it made her break down social barriers and sets her up for dating a muggleborn. It was echoed again with the cheekiness towards Slughorn.

I agree that this chapter was needed. You developed the OCs characters really well and established Torís relationship with them which was needed because otherwise I probably would have felt a little lost!

The flashback was really great in this chapter! I really liked that Yaxley evidently cared about his family. Though he might have done it with a little bit of selfishness I still really liked it and gave me some hope that Death Eaters can, in fact, be kind and nice. The look he gave Daphne was great because it foreshadowed what happened in the rest of the chapter really well.

The little details such as openly talking about the Dark Lord and having a house elf at Hogwarts really showed that these people really were purebloods. I really loved as it gave it a great sense of realism. I feel as if I constantly say that when reading your work but itís true! You really do have such an eye for little canon details which really make a story work well.

The background to Daphne has made me not like her at all! I really liked that sheís the evil vindictive sister because it was fun to see her like that as sheís usually been nice in all the stories Iíve read with her in them. This gathering sheís trying to make Tor come along to doesnít sound like a good thing in the slightest. If Iím honest it sounds like a meeting of a cult!

The letter from their mother was really good for getting an insight into her mind. Sheís obviously different from most purebloods because she wants her daughter to get an education but then still holds those ideals such as talking to Macnair about whether Hagrid would be good or not. I think I quite liked her from that letter. Iím not really sure why but she just had this appeal to her.

Iíve really grown to like this story so I will be revisiting it even with the five reviews done! Iím going away on Tuesday though so it may be quite a long time until I get here but I will be back!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hello again! :) Wow, this review is so long and awesome! :D

I'm glad you liked the names, I was quite pleased and think they suit them rather well. I agree, Tor does do as she pleases, and is perhaps more open-minded than she realizes. I still am a bit insecure about this chapter and even think it could have been combined with the previous chapter, but it probably was needed as you said to set up the characters and develop them a little further.

I'm very glad you liked the flashback again, they are some of my favourite bits to write and include as getting into the heads of the death eaters is just too exciting! And yes, he certainly has some strong, fatherly qualities as well, which is what Tor tends to notice in him.

I'm so glad you think the little details and mentions of canon work well! :) That's definitely one of the best parts of writing about the HP verse and Hogwarts era. And yes, for some reason I always pictured Daphne as the slightly demonized ice princess, at least to Tor. And since the DE is a lot like a cult which pulls people in and traps them, that is definitely a reasonable comparison to the meetings.

Haha, it's great to hear that you liked their mother's letter! Honestly, despite the coldness and harshness she sometimes displays I really enjoy the mother as a character and wish I had the chance to write her more often. She does want the best for her daughters, and I think she embodies how a strict pureblood mother might treat her children and also be prepared to fight for them.

Aw, you are so sweet! :) I'm very honoured you've enjoyed these beginning chapters and are interested enough to come back- I'm very eager to find out what you think of the later chapters if you do check them out. Thank you so much for all of your thoughtful feedback and praise! :)



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