Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:patronus_charm says:
Hi there!

I had my suspicions that Tor was Astoria Greengrass and then I went and read through some of the reviews and I was glad I was proved correct. That sets up some really interesting dynamics because I never really imagined who her father could be but with it being a Death Eater it does make me wonder if that brings her and Draco together or not.

The flashback to when her father came home was really well done. I made a connection with him then and made me understand the family dynamic even more. Itís interesting that sheís still compassionate towards her father because in the prologue she seemed to detest the dark arts but I suppose blood is thicker than water and all that jazz.

I liked the inclusion of canon events such as the attempted break in at the Ministry and Malfoy having blood on his robes after attacking Harry. It made me able to place myself more easily and I felt more home which is important for a story set in Hogwarts years.

Iím really liking Tor too at the moment. I think it was just the little thing about her wanting to play quidditch which made me smile. It made her more human and a bit more of a rebel in my eyes because if I remember correctly the Slytherin quidditch team was the only one without a female.

Even though you threw in a lot of OCs into this chapter I actually wasnít fazed by them at all. I think you included the right amount of backstory and action so I feel as if I know a little bit about each one already. I liked the diversity among them too because it will make for a more interesting read. One thing which really stood out for me was that they seemed nice which was great because there is tendency to make them all evil when portraying a Slytherin.

I noticed a few minor typos such as here ĎAmaris and I have been best friends since we momentí because I think the we was meant to be a the but other than that it was a really excellent chapter!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hello again! :)

Yes, Tor is Astoria, but with a spin on her family name and nickname. I really wanted to use a somewhat canon character but have a lot of free reign to write her, and for some reason Astoria was the one who inspired me. I'm glad you're already wondering about Draco and how on earth they could ever get together this early in the story as well! :)

The family dynamics and Tor's relationship with her father and how much she idolizes him is very important to the story and an enjoyable aspect for me to write and imagine as well. Yaxley in my mind is such a complex character who, like so many of the DE, isn't exclusively good or evil, and I really enjoy writing him: the cameo in this chapter is only the beginning! :)

I'm glad you like the canon events and characters which help situate the story in the HBP canon. I think it's important as well, and even if Harry's world doesn't always intersect with Tor's I try to be constantly aware of it.

I'm glad you're enjoying Tor and her friends so far! :) They are so much fun to write even if there are a lot of OCs. They are all quite different and various of them become important and have their time in the spotlight throughout the story. And yes, they are nice enough, though they definitely have some of those typical Slytherin characteristics as well! :P

Thank you for another great review! :) You're just spoiling me with these long, thoughtful reviews, and I really appreciate it! :D


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 897
Submit Report: