Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:CambAngst says:
Lauren! I'm back!

Poor Sirius and Lydia didn't get much of a honeymoon, did they? I love that you dropped us right into the thick of the action almost right away. One chapter to establish who's who and how the romance came to be and then -- BANG! -- right into the thick of things.

Lydia's whole thought process on figuring out whether she wanted to be in a relationship with a wizard was nicely done. It was one of those classic situations where logical brain and heart were in conflict, so heart resorts to fighting dirty. The physical reaction she has to recalling his appearance and his mannerisms was really what sold it for me.

It seems like love is making Sirius's brain a little soft. The way that he knows he's being watched because of his run-in with Regulus, yet he never really makes the connection with Lydia and her safety is a bad sign for both of them. They're going to have to be a lot more careful if they're both going to survive this. Well, we know that Sirius survives it, but I'd like to imagine that they both do, somehow.

Bellatrix! It's everyone's favorite mentally unstable dark witch, in all her terrifying glory. I'm a sucker for a well-written Bellatrix and this is pretty darn good. She's so creepy! The entire scene in Lydia's bedroom gave me chills. I was on the edge of my seat until Sirius was able to apparate them away.

This was a pretty long chapter and I only saw a couple of typos, so kudos for your editing!

'How dare you!' Bellatrix screamed, brandishing her wand like a whip and slicing Sirius's cheek open who laughed despite the pain. -- "who laughed despite the pain" sounds really awkward dangling on the end of this sentence. I'd probably put a full stop after "open" and make a new sentence along the lines of, "He laughed in spite of the pain."

‘Where are the Potter’s, Black?’ she demanded. -- should be Potters, without an apostrophe.

Aside from that, I thought it was a little strange that Bellatrix would refer to Sirius as "Black" since that's her own family name. I'm sure she didn't grow up calling him that, since every person in the room probably would have turned their head.

Great chapter! This was so edgy and past a certain point you would have needed to drag me away from my computer to make me stop reading. Even then, there's still my phone. ;)

Author's Response: Hi again!

Wow - you're seriously spoiling me with all these reviews! Thank you so much.

Haha yeah - they didn't get much time. I do kind of feel bad about that but it felt necessary for what the story was for.

I'm glad you enjoyed Lydia's little battle with herself. I feel there was only ever one option but it was fun to explore how she would have thought it out and eventually came to the inevitable.

Haha just to quote your review, I loved this: "Bellatrix! It's everyone's favorite mentally unstable dark witch" I do love Bellatrix. You have to love to hate her I think. She's too much of an awesome baddie.

Thank you for pointing out the two typos. Both have been noted and will be taken care of in due course. Once again you've made an excellent point and I will look into how Bella address's Sirius. I always forget Bella was a Black - even though I know her and Sirius are cousins.

Thank you once again for stopping by and leaving your thoughts and for your CC. I can't tell you how much it's appreciated!

Lauren :)

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 770
Submit Report: