This chapter had such a sad but soft feel to it. I think if anyone would know what it was like to feel too big, it would definitely be Hagrid!
You really got is dialogue down, which is amazing! He sounded very in-canon Hagrid, and his thoughts felt really well placed too.
We see that he has tendencies to put himself down more than anyone, probably having adjusted to the teasing of others and wanting to make fun of himself before they do, and you showed that part of him really perfectly here. Then you added another important layer to his characterization with the proud sort of feeling he had when thinking he was on a mission for Dumbledore. I LOVED that!
Your writing gets better each time I read something of yours ♥ Your dialogue punctuation was perfect, and no errors popped out at me.
I think the only thing I'd suggest with this would be playing up your flashbacks a bit more and tying them more into the story. I loved them, so I don't think you should get rid of them or anything, but you could add a few sentences so that we could sort of follow his thought process. Like this the first, here's how you end that section:
.baby Harry to his chest with one hand and pressed down on the handlbar to sprint down the road in the other, taking off in a whirl wind of dust, in to the night sky.
And next you start on the memory of his spider. You could add something in there, just a sentence about knowing the importance of keeping the small child safe, and not wanting the memory of the last time he'd cared for a helpless creature and how that had ended to plague him. Then that would sort of transition us into the memory of when he'd failed to keep and care for his spider :)!
This was another really awesome chapter, and I'm so excited to see who you do next!
Author's Response: I only just remembered I hadn't responded to this review! Grrr I'm really sorry Jami!
Haha I agree! Hagrid is the physically biggest person I could think of, aside from giants of course. Thank you, I had to go read snippets of his speech from the books! I love Hagrid, and I had immense fun describing him, and his speech was one of the best bits!
I think there's probably a big vunerable side of Hagrid -- for a start, he attaches himself to creatures way too much, and empathises with them for being outsiders because of how they look and act -- and also, he's very sensitive, and soppy! Therefore, I think it makes sense that he likes to feel useful, seeing as he used to feel so big and useless, so being specially chosen by Dumbledore to do this made him feel good about himself :)
That's made me go all warm and fuzzy inside! I'm so happy you said that, thank you! &hearts
That is really awesome advice, I'll go back and try to smooth it out a bit more, so I can keep it flowing :P Thank you for helping me improve it!
Heheh thanks for stopping by again Jami, you're awesome!