This is perfect.
Action scenes can be really difficult to write, at least for me, but you did a beautiful job with this. It was engaging, entertaining, and had me hurrying on to find out what happened next. I obviously guessed that Rose was "Louis" from the start, but I wasn't sure whether Scorpius would ever find out. If he did, I was expecting a sarcastic sneer of some sort, but that definitely didn't materialize. He seemed genuine.
Which is, I guess, in keeping with a lot of Austen's leading men. :P
I also want to mention - I find the disconnect between Roxanne and the way ladies are "supposed" to behave very interesting, because the rules don't seem to apply to her. Where Lily in particular is always going on about looking proper and what ladies should and shouldn't do, Roxanne seems to be doing pretty much all of it. I find that interesting.
At any rate: the end really was perfect. I loved that Rose was able to defeat Scorpius, and the fact that his reaction was to respect her rather than dislike her more - or, worse, feel embarrassed/humiliated - is a good sign, I think, and I wish there was more than one more chapter posted so I could find out more!
Author's Response: Yay, thank you very much! Action scenes are things I try to avoid because they require a kind of fast-paced narration that I don't feel capable of achieving. But to hear that it worked in this chapter makes me incredibly happy - your compliments have made my day! ^_^
It's not that big a secret that Louis isn't... well... Louis, but like you've said, the suspense builds instead from the question of whether the others there will discover the truth. The real trick, though, was giving Scorpius an unexpected response - he is perhaps so surprised that he can't even affect it. At the same time, he experiences much of what Darcy does as he becomes better acquainted with Elizabeth. In this case, Scorpius is shocked to discover that the witch he only regarded as the daughter of Ron and Hermione Weasley was a witch worthy of respect for her own abilities - that she is more than her parents.
It's less of a disconnect between witches like Roxanne and Lily than it is a spectrum with Ginny, Rose, and Victoire somewhere in between the "extremes". What Rose has to do is decide on where she stands in this spectrum. The main difference between Roxanne and Lily is that the latter has unquestioningly accepted the role of "lady", a role that is more influenced by Muggle society's expectations. Wizarding society is a little more open-minded, though it still maintains expectations of politeness and modesty - both of which Roxanne adheres to. There aren't that many female Aurors at this time, but during the war with France, there was a significant increase in their number because they were very useful as spies and "carriers" (for both messages and those escaping the revolution).
It's still something I have to work through. I don't want to make it that female Aurors have less to do with violence and aren't as involved in the action, but at the same time, they're not of a different class than other witches. You're right that the story presents a tension between these two roles for women, but I'm not sure whether they're actually opposing roles. Note for instance how comfortable Roxanne is as an Auror, whereas Lily is incredibly anxious about everything she (and everyone else) does - Lily seems to be the only one anxious about being a proper lady and following society's rules. There is a lot I have to do with Lily - it will be something good to deal with in the next chapter. :D
Thank you very much for reading and reviewing this story! You've given me wonderful material to think over, and it's also fantastic to see that you've enjoyed this chapter.